Some more stupid/very clever advertising

23 November, 2006 at 6:18 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 11 Comments

Take your pick. Yes this photo has been edited, but only a very small amount. It does actually say what you can see. I have just relocated the M and the Y to make it a teensy bit more obvious. And no, My ass does not open at 6. or any other time (outbound goods excluded). Sorry.



Rubber hoses, aversion to spiders, buying off ebay, car services and trips to Melbourne

23 November, 2006 at 11:17 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments

Ahhh…the joys of modern life.

As those of you in Melbourne know, I am coming down this weekend, to stay for a week. I have to work on Wednesday, Thurday and Friday, and am hoping to catch up with you on the Friday Night (1/12).

To enable this to happen, I have been making preparations for the journey, and clothes to wear during said trip.

I washed a load of clothes yesterday, putting the machine on just before I went to bed.

The washing machine consumes a fair amount of water, and considering I am running low on rainwater in my tank, I cunningly rigged up a hose to the washing machine from the bore tap, that feeds the toilet. How clever am I? This means that my drinking/bathing water is saved for those purposes alone, and my washing machine uses the plentiful water from the bore. It’s clean water, I just won’t drink it, as it comes from underground (as the term “bore” implies), and I have no idea what has been added to said water in its underground journey.

I went to bed last night, with a fan on in my bedroom, cos it’s kinda hot here, and slept like a baby. I woke up at around 6am, walked towards the bathroom/laundry, to hear running water…lots of running water.

Yep, the hose to the washing machine had come apart from the tap, and saturated the back half of my house. Luckily, there is a drain plug in the bathroom, so most of the water managed to find it’s way out, although there was enought output from the tap to wet the carpets in my study. So I am at home today, drying carpets with a fan heater (It’s only around 28 degrees outside…).

I put on a load of washing this morning as well, after cleaning up all the standing water in the bathroom, only to pick up a bunch of clothes from the laundry hamper, to find a visitor. I canned that ass in quick fashion. Adrenaline rushes in the morning are not my idea of fun; well, self inflicted ones, maybe, but ones that result of me having my (not so) delicate hands within 2 centimetres of one of those are definately not.

I also took my car in for it’s 60,000k service on Tuesday, at the Nissan Dealer where I purchased it (Names will not be mentioned at this point). I got a phone call Tuesday afternoon, informing me that the rear brake shoes needed to be replaced. I queried this, as whilst I have done alot of K’s in a short period of time (the car is 15 months old), most of those were on the highway, and the front brakes were in great condition. I also pointed out that each of the previous service invoices I received said the brake material level was fine on all the brakes, front and back, with the exception of the 50,000k service, where they had left that info out.

I was told “The foreman came up to me and told me to call you; that’s all I know”.

I said that if they needed replacing, they needed replacing, so do it.

“You’ll have to bring the car back in tomorrow, cos we don’t stock those items-they never wear out…”

Dumfounded silence on my part.

So I took the car back yesterday, with explicit instructions that the used brake shoes were to be IN MY CAR when I picked it up, not in a dumpster somewhere.

Turns out (for those of you with mechanincal knowledge of drum brakes) that the leading shoe on one side was worn on one end only. The other half of the shoe was fine, as were the leading shoe on the left side, and both trailing shoes.

For those not mechanically minded, imagine a two semi-circular objects inside a cylinder. One half of one of those semi-circles is worn, but the …… here, look at this….


And my brake shoes now look like this:


If you notice the wear on the top left of the brake shoes (ie-there is none of the dark grey material left)  it indicates that the shoe wasn’t sitting in the Drum properly, or that the piston (wheel cylinder, pic 1)  that pushes the shoes apart, and therefore against the Drum (which is how the brake works) was jammed.

Surely a warranty item, I hear you say. Nope. That’ll be $835 thanks….

This is one battle that’s going down hard, let me tell you.

And now to my dalek-style portable air conditioner.  I bought it off ebay, hoping that it would at least reduce the temperature in my bedroom and loungeroom to something livable. It blows air colder than the air around it, I suppose, but even after running it for four hours, the temperature in my bedroom still sits around 30 degrees. The temperature of the air coming out of the unit is around 23.5 degrees, nowhere near the 18 degrees that is espoused on the description of the item.

I’m trying to get a refund from the bloke I brought it from, but he’s not returning my calls, emails etc….

I just rang the bloke and caught him off guard…. I have to go and get a refund for the aircon now–see ya

ps I will add some more to this general complaint about life later on..


Grunt The Builder ( umm…maybe..where’s the chainsaw?)

18 November, 2006 at 7:51 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

In May of this year, I was involved in a musical production of The Full Monty. I had a couple of different roles (The worlds funniest, inept and uncoordinated stripper (I was a shoe-in for the role) and an obnoxious priest).

I was also, as a result of some previous cabinet-making experience in a former (pre adulthood) life, designated as set-builder for the production. This involved alot of weekend work, design, volunteer management and general chaos with power tools.

That turned out ok, the sets stayed together for the duration of the show (three weeks), and looked like they were supposed to look… I think that’s how they were supposed to look, anyway.

 One of the cast members (person K) was so impressed with my set making ability, that shortly after the run of the show, she contacted me and asked me if I would be interested in building her (three children) a cubby house. I thought, at the time, that it was (theatrical)  flattery about the sets, and not a real request for my services.


 I was contacted a couple of weeks ago by person K, who again asked if I would like to build a cubby. I had, to be honest, completely forgotten about it.

 Today was day one. Plan discussions, plan alterations and altercations (not really, but is looks good when it’s written down) and an excuse to buy a decent hammer.

I also was able to use my newly acquired Ryobi cheap-as-shit drill. I was using it to screw 10cm (4″)  self tapping screws into Oregon. The poor little thing was just about melting in my hands. On four seperate occasions I had to stop for a break so I could actually use the drill again without burning my hands. When I had finished, it blew more smoke than Gizo’s old Galant ever did.

This bloody thing is going to be a palace, by the time it’s finished; pitched lazerlite polybicarbonate roof, timber paling walls, hardwood timber decking floors, fully functional sash window and central heating….well, maybe not the sash window.

So far, I have built the base. Cut up some oregon, screwed in 20 screws and cooked one drill. 

And they offered to pay me by the hour!!! (Current rate, I told them, is $1.20 an eight hour day. They owe me 40 cents) 

Back tomorrow for some more building…


ps. I will post a photo of the finished product. (Based on progress so far, you should check back in  late 2021. I might have it finished by then)

CDs-the mess of my life…

12 November, 2006 at 9:52 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

I decided to do something about the state of My CD collection over the weekend, seeing as how there is very little else to do at my house except read a book, or drink beer. The beer drinking is off, finito, caput, I don’t have TV reception, and I have watched all my DVDs several times.

Ahhh, how the world looks through sober eyes…

I have lots of CD cases. Hundreds of them, but I can’d find the CDs to go with said cases. Night at the Opera (Queen)-gone, Undertow (Tool) missing,  Contraband (Velvet Revolver) history…

I did managed to find Boondoggle (The Lucksmiths) which I listened to yesterday, and had a jolly little sing-a-long with.

So not everything is lost. I re-discovered the simple joy of listening to some not-heavy music, and not having to dislocate my vocal chords trying to sing along.

Schoolgirl beats off kidnapper

6 November, 2006 at 6:59 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments

It just gets better doesn’t it. You would think that someone would proof read these headlines before publishing them, even on the interweb. I mean the story is quite serious, and the end result is good, but to run it in the paper with a title like that?

Gotta be deliberate, I reckon.

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