Anthony’s little speech impediment

28 April, 2007 at 7:10 pm | Posted in Kidlets | 5 Comments

You may recall I posted here about Anthony trying to say the word Popcorn. And not getting it right. I managed to film him with my digital camera attempting the same thing, with the same results.

I think it’s funny, and kinda cute, although some people may find the words coming out of a three year olds mouth a little offensive. All I can say in response is this- if, as a three year old, you had perfect control over the english language, precise enunciation, and understood what every word in the english language meant, you have a right to be upset. IF, however, you still can’t see the funny side of this video, I suggest you should consider treatment for your lack of humour.

 

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Guilt: and the things you learn

28 April, 2007 at 12:04 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Today was just another day… up early, showered, shaved, and off to work.Slightly more productive than other days: managed to solve at least half of the worlds issues today, and the rest must wait until Monday….(will someone take that tongue out of my cheek, please…)

Got home, with not much to do. The house is clean (to my standards, anyway) the lawn is mowed, and it’s Friday.

I was walking through the back of the house (towards the toilet, if the truth must be known) and I heard galloping hooves. I opened the back door, and I spied a horse, wearing a blue rug, near the gate to my house (please remember I live on a farm/ranch/whatever) and heard a couple more horses snorting and carrying on out of my sight (there is a rather bushy plant between my back door and the gate).

In my infinite wisdom, I made a noise, specifically designed to chase the horses away from my gate. To wit, the noise was similar to that which a snake would make–>TSSSSSSSSSSSS.

The next thing I knew, there was a small whinny, and a thumping of hoooves, and the blue rugg’d horse was lying on it’s side, in my yard (over the top of a barbed-wire fence)

I shit myself.

Those horses (according to the landlord, who just happens to be the horses owner) are worth $au5K each. And this one wasn’t moving.

I ran back to the phone, rang the landlord, and screamed down the line “STEVE……STEVE, IT’S GRANT!!! ONE OF YOUR HORSES HAS GONE OVER THE FENCE AND IS IN MY YARD, AND IT’S NOT MOVING!!!!”

 .

“FUCK!!!” was the reply.

I was convinced, as this horse wasn’t moving, that there was, at the least, a broken leg involved. Or at the most, a broken neck, and I was responsible.

I ran to the next door neighbours house (said next-door neighbour works on the farm), and yelled “JUSTIN, COME QUICK, HELP ME WITH THIS HORSE!!!”

Judy and Steve arrived, in their Toyota Land Cruiser, and raced out of the vehicle to the poor stricken horse.

I had no idea what to do, apart from mildly shitting myself over what might happen to me for spooking the horses.

When Steve saw the horse, he said something along the lines of “The stupid pricks just cast; lets drag him so his back is uphill….”

This made no sense to me at all. I even said “Whaddya mean, he’s cast?”

Judy answered with alot of anger in her voice “He’s just cast!!!!!”

A great help that was.

Justin and Steve grabbed the horse by the fore-hooves, and dragged him around until his back was facing uphill.

He then stood up.

I was dumb-founded.

“Why can’t they stand up if their back is downhill? Can’t they roll themselves around?” I asked.

“They just don’t try,” Steve said, “You and I know that we could get ourselves out of a similar situation; horses just seem to realise that they can’t get up from where they are, so they don’t bother”.

So for a horse who managed to roll himself over a barbed-wire fence, into a position where he couldn’t get up unaided, this prick of a thing got up, ran through the gate, and galloped across the paddock like nothing was wrong.

And I nearly had a heart attack.

 There wasn’t even a scratch on him.

Bastard.

Nokia, speech dyslexia, and three year old boys

15 April, 2007 at 9:11 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments

On Saturday, I dropped my daughters ‘Magic Wand’ off at her house, because she had left it at mine last weekend. When I told her I had found it, it was immediately apparent that if she didn’t have it back in her care as soon as humanly possible, a great calamity would result.

Whilst delivering the Wand at my ex’s house, she (my ex) showed me some of the produce from her garden (Like pumpkins, and chillies, you terrible people!!!). Whilst in the kitchen of her house, my children were clamouring for my attention, and generally making a lot of noise.

The night before had been a bit of a special thing for the kiddies, as they got to enjoy some easter eggs, as well as some other “treat” foods.

I was in a conversation with Anthony, when he reached across the table, grabbed an almost-empty bag from the night before, and asked me “Daddy, d’you want some Cock Porn?”.

I just looked at him, my mouth slightly ajar.

“Sorry, Anthony, what did you say?”

” You want some Cock Porn?”

Whilst I tried (unsuccessfully) to stifle my laughter, I got my phone out, and proceeded to film him asking me if I wanted to eat some of his Cock Porn.

 So, I have a video of my son trying to say PopCorn, and failing, but due to Nokia Phones being “different”, I am unable to post the video.

 **Note to self- make sure the digital camera is in the car at ALL TIMES***

This is almost as funny as him saying “I (am) a girl, cos I got BOOBIES!!!”

Out of the mouths of babes… (and they say genetics has nothing to do with it!!!!)

Easter 2007

8 April, 2007 at 7:19 pm | Posted in Kidlets | 3 Comments

Easter has been a fairly quiet affair this year, although the little darlings woke up at 6.30 this morning, keen to find all the eggs the discerning Easter Bunny had left around the house. And of course, they had to wake me up to do it!’

 So the easter egg hunt went quite well, with the kiddies very happy at the eggs left all around the house and surrounds. And to work off some of the additional energy gleaned from the consumption of the chocolate, we went into Canberra to go for a bike ride around Lake Burley Griffen. Anthony (3 yrs and two months) was the star of the show, riding his little push bike around (without training wheels) at a milllion miles an hour. At least that is how it seemed to him; the gearing on the bike is for ease of riding, rather than the achievement of speed. So based on the number of revolutions his pedals did, an adult would have travelled about 350 kilometres, pedal for pedal (well, maybe 50 kilometres).

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