Kids are supposed to bounce, goddamit!!

29 May, 2007 at 11:32 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments

I got a call today, whilst I was fighting the good fight at work.

It started with “Now don’t panic, but Tasz has had an accident, and is at the Yass hospital.”


I’ll just sit here calmly, my heart rate will not increase, my pupils will not dilate, and the tone of my voice will not change. And I won’t get cranky.

Turns out little miss has a wonderful ability. The ability to face plant.

It has to be an ability, because she’s managed to do this three times, and NONE of those times has she managed to get her hands out in front of her, or “roll” as she’s falling. Just splat.

Natasza had a chipped front tooth (admittedly it was her baby teeth) from a face-plant when she was three. On a bowling ball, of all the stupid things. Or she stood on a bowling ball. Or she was trying to eat one.


As a result of that impact, one of her top front teeth is permanently discoloured. And liquid paper is toxic (and it washes off, anyway)

There was another time she face planted, although I can’t remember the specifics (remember, I only get to see my kids for two days a fortnight, according to the little piece of paper issued by the Family Law Court, so 12 out of 14 days consist of stuff I get to learn about by phone. Sometimes).

 This time, it’s a doozy. From “don’t worry, she’s fine, just a scratch is about all” to what you see below.

Evidently, Tasz was jumping over a flat bench seat type thing at her school (said bench seat is in a bitumenised area, of course) and jumped one last time, and her face beat her feet to touchdown.

Thank God she’s alright: no concussion, no dizzy spells, and no brain damage. Hopefully she will learn to fall properly, and one day soon (and it is a skill, no doubt about it- but maybe it’s a bloke thing- I never faceplanted in my life. Sure, I rode a motorbike into a blue stone wall, and gave myself cerebral contusions, and I’ve gone over the top of three cars (twice on a pushbike, and once on a motorbike) but I’ve never broken a bone. Or face planted. Yet…)




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  1. OUCH! That’s a fine effort…
    Maybe you should send to to see Mr Seeber for a few lessons on falling gracefully.. heh

  2. big ouch! bitumen is evil stuff, no?

  3. Giz- I do seem to recall there was a broken arm, in the not-so-distant past for Mr Seeber… I don’t know that his lessons would benefit Natasza at this point…. 😉

    Vetti- Bitumen is indeed one of the more evil substances on this earth, particularly when combined (with force) with a rapidly moving object, like someones head…

  4. Oh holy crap! My little man has a trouble magnet in his head. He got sconed by a kid on swing once, smacked it hard falling out of the shower once (which resulted in a cool scar) and most recently scored a black eye from clashing heads with another kids.

    I had to train my ex regarding those sorts of calls. Because these all happened under her watch, she seemed reluctant to tell me the first time which made me think something was horribly wrong. I told in future don’t panic me – START the conversation “He got hurt but it isn’t serious.”

  5. That looks very sore! Poor thing. They say things come in threes. It’s been over a week now. How is she coming along?

  6. MR A- As you can see, I understand completely!

    Seebs- All is going well, doesn’t appear to be much in the way of scar tissue forming, and she seems quite chirpy and cheerful (back to normal).

  7. I’ve never faceplanted either, but I’ve done a tremendous amount of falling down stairs. Poor girl, it looks like it hurt!

  8. why the silence? don’t you love us any more?

    how did the pics turn out, btw?

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