Fear not, fair wanderers….

19 April, 2008 at 11:31 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

I am building up to a proper post in the not-too-distant future…

 

 

Where have I been?

28 June, 2007 at 9:47 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Sorry, world, but I have been incredibly lazy lately; I have no excuse.

 And today’s post is going to be rather brief also.

I came to Melbournia last week, and had a very busy time with work, but still managed to catch up with some friends over the duration of the week.

I saw most of my fambly, notable exception being my sister- there is a story there, but not one for general dissemination.

I also saw my step-grandmother, who is quite ill, and it doesn’t look like she has long left to live.

And that sucks. A woman who has spent all her life on “the farm”, raising five boys and one girl in the sandy hills of the Mallee (near Mildura, Victoria). She worked hard, never smoked in her life, probably had two standard drinks during the course of her life, and managed to raise the family, for a fair bit of it, on her own.

Tough as old boots, is Grandma. Yet now, she can’t remember where she is, who anyone else is, or what time it is (year, week, date, etc).

It’s really hard to watch someone who’s been a consistent (yet not constant) part of your life humbled like that.

I spent more than a few school holidays up at the farm, slashing paddocks, (occasionally) picking fruit, and also going through the growing up “I AM AN ASSHOLE” stage (where running away seemed like the good thing to do, regardless of anything else).

Yet, through it all, I have respected Grandma.

I know that members of my family will read this, and I know that some of them may question the use of my time to talk about my Step-Grandmother in this way.

 Regardless of the pre-noun(?), my thoughts are the same- this woman is, and always has been the Matriach of the Brown family, who never turned anyone away, and always did the best job that she knew how to do.

So, to Grandma, know that regardless of what happens, there is always a place for you in my heart- I know I had an effect on your life, yet now it’s too late to show you the effect you had on mine.

And for that, I am sad.

Kids are supposed to bounce, goddamit!!

29 May, 2007 at 11:32 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments

I got a call today, whilst I was fighting the good fight at work.

It started with “Now don’t panic, but Tasz has had an accident, and is at the Yass hospital.”

Sure.

I’ll just sit here calmly, my heart rate will not increase, my pupils will not dilate, and the tone of my voice will not change. And I won’t get cranky.

Turns out little miss has a wonderful ability. The ability to face plant.

It has to be an ability, because she’s managed to do this three times, and NONE of those times has she managed to get her hands out in front of her, or “roll” as she’s falling. Just splat.

Natasza had a chipped front tooth (admittedly it was her baby teeth) from a face-plant when she was three. On a bowling ball, of all the stupid things. Or she stood on a bowling ball. Or she was trying to eat one.

Whatever.

As a result of that impact, one of her top front teeth is permanently discoloured. And liquid paper is toxic (and it washes off, anyway)

There was another time she face planted, although I can’t remember the specifics (remember, I only get to see my kids for two days a fortnight, according to the little piece of paper issued by the Family Law Court, so 12 out of 14 days consist of stuff I get to learn about by phone. Sometimes).

 This time, it’s a doozy. From “don’t worry, she’s fine, just a scratch is about all” to what you see below.

Evidently, Tasz was jumping over a flat bench seat type thing at her school (said bench seat is in a bitumenised area, of course) and jumped one last time, and her face beat her feet to touchdown.

Thank God she’s alright: no concussion, no dizzy spells, and no brain damage. Hopefully she will learn to fall properly, and one day soon (and it is a skill, no doubt about it- but maybe it’s a bloke thing- I never faceplanted in my life. Sure, I rode a motorbike into a blue stone wall, and gave myself cerebral contusions, and I’ve gone over the top of three cars (twice on a pushbike, and once on a motorbike) but I’ve never broken a bone. Or face planted. Yet…)

 image014.jpg

Who says Australians don’t have a sense of humour?

23 May, 2007 at 8:54 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 9 Comments

Yup- the newspapers are at it again.

 This time, there was a fire in a bondage and discipline centre in Fitzroy, a suburb in Melbourne.

According to “The Age” The MFB (Metropolitan Fire Brigade) issued a statement:

“MBF firefighters were tied up for some time but disciplined and controlled firefighting contained the blaze to one room on the second floor of the two storey building.”

I think that’s funny.

Places, people…and….ACTION!!!

21 May, 2007 at 8:37 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Yup, I auditioned yesterday for a part in a new musical production in Canberra.

The play is “Oliver!”, and just because I am an utter bastard, I auditioned for the part of Bill Sykes, the down right nasty-fighting, girlfriend-killing, self centred villain.

 And truth be told, I sucked.

In the original musical (not the one filmed with Oliver Reed and Ron Moody) Bill Sykes sings a song “My Name”.

 The song indicates the character of Bill Sykes, and leaves the audience in no doubt that he is one mean S.O.B.

 It’s a Baritone part, but sung in quite a gravelly sounding voice.

 So I smoked like a chimney all the way into the auditions, waited around for three quarters of an hour (I was early, and they were late), with my nerves going up a notch every few minutes, until I was called in to the theatre for my audition.

And as funny as this sounds, I was more nervous at this audition that I was when I was on stage in front of 300 people taking my clothes off (The Full Monty- although I got to keep my undies on…).

My singing, to put it mildly, was shit.

The dancing routine we did as a group was OK, nothing very hard there (I think if you managed to stay on your feet, you were considered a “pass”).

The “reading” (they hand you a page or two of script, and you get to act the particular part you’re auditioning for) went alot better- I got to get low down and REALLY angry at some poor little girl (20-ish) that I’d never met before. That’s something (being angry) that I do quite well… Even if I’m doing it in a corny Cockney accent.

Call-backs (allowing the casting crew to finalise their decisions) are supposed to be tonight, and as I haven’t heard anything, then I guess I’ll have to wait til the next show to further my aspirations of fame and fortune (I’ve already mastered Infamy and Misfortune).

Ah well, an artist’s life, en’ all ‘at.

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